Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Nine Months Later

Wow, a nine month hiatus from blogging.  Believe me, I've missed it as it is extremely therapeutic to me.  It has been a wild last nine months with peaks and valleys as happens in life naturally, and each adventure has taught me something new about myself or others for which I'm grateful (whether I liked it or not!)

Throughout these last several months, the repetitive phrase that my Mom has always told me has been a big "theme" that has proven true - "Alyson, not everyone is like you and has the heart that you do."  I think the best of people, I sometimes have high, sometimes unrealistic expectations of others (just because it is something that I would do doesn't mean the other person has the same value for it,) I can be naive and vulnerable, yet also tough as wrought iron.  I need my independence, but also want the comfort of someone near me.  I need to be told things gently and not brashly or straight forward.  I am not perfect and make mistakes.  I'm embarrassed by some of the things I have done or allowed but have learned through the consequences.  I love deeply and my heart hurts even more deeply when the unexpected happens.  I want people to understand my disability but don't always take the time to educate them on it.  I will always try to do things on my own first.  If I'm unable to do it, I obviously need help and have no problem asking for help, but some things I see as obvious whereas other do not.  It takes me longer to do certain things, and my body gets tired quicker the older I become in my disability - even though my mind is young.  My body is fragile, and I need to start being more aware of it.  I think I've visited the Emergency Room at least ten times in 2015 already with one time being taken by ambulance because of a broken leg.  No joke.

Per Chinese tradition, it's supposedly "my year" when it comes to the Chinese New Year.  Though the Chinese New Year began on Thursday, February 19th, I'm not quite feeling the year yet.  But it's only the a little over a month, and I have faith that like this past nine months that I'll learn from everything that comes my way - good or bad.

So without going into detail of the past nine months - which again, I have had some very high high's that I'm extremely excited about and thankful for, but I've also had some very low low's that I'm still trying to process - I will leave you with the things I have learned thus far from this journey called life.

Jesus Christ alone is my constant.  He has never left my side, and I will not settle for anything less than that which reflects Him and is a positive influence on me.  Happy Holy Week, and remember the sacrifice that Jesus paid on the Cross so that we may have Eternal Life with Him in Heaven forever.  No matter what we do, as long as you confess with your mouth and believe in your heart that Jesus walked on the Earth in human form,  died on the Cross, was put into a tomb and rose three days later into Heaven to be with our Heavenly Father, it is promised to you that you will go to Heaven when you die to be with Jesus.  I'm thankful that Jesus has taken and continues to take all of my personal sins upon Himself and wipes them clean through my daily repentance.  To think of the entire world's sins on ones shoulders while on the Cross - people who he never met, people who he already knew, and people he had yet to meet - ALL of those sins and yet willingly and intimately took my sins, too.... wow, it is entirely humbling.  Therefore through His grace and mercy, I know each day will be okay because of His unending and unconditional Love for me.

And He offeres it to you, too.  Seek.  Ask.  And Receive.  The gift is free if you want it.

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