Monday, October 25, 2010

A Good Reminder

I have a new dear friend at work who knows exactly what scripture to say to me at the exact moment I need encouragement. And oftentimes, she doesn't know exactly what it is I'm struggling with. She must have been sent to FWM from heaven directly.

This past week, I was sharing with her some things that I've been dealing with - in particular my frustration of yet another thing that I have to "deal with" despite having a disability. This oftentimes gets me down and makes me start questioning God. Almost like, "Haven't I dealt with enough in my life, God? Why me? Why do I have to continue to be the martyr for Christianity? I'm tired of being the example. I'm tired. I'm tired. I'm tired." The words she had for me immediately calmed me down and refocused my thinking. Here is what she shared with me.

2 Corinthians 4:5-18 (New Living Translation) says,

"You see, we don’t go around preaching about ourselves. We preach that Jesus Christ is Lord, and we ourselves are your servants for Jesus’ sake. For God, who said, “Let there be light in the darkness,” has made this light shine in our hearts so we could know the glory of God that is seen in the face of Jesus Christ.

We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.

We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies.

Yes, we live under constant danger of death because we serve Jesus, so that the life of Jesus will be evident in our dying bodies. So we live in the face of death, but this has resulted in eternal life for you.

But we continue to preach because we have the same kind of faith the psalmist had when he said, “I believed in God, so I spoke.” We know that God, who raised the Lord Jesus, will also raise us with Jesus and present us to himself together with you. All of this is for your benefit. And as God’s grace reaches more and more people, there will be great thanksgiving, and God will receive more and more glory.

That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever."

Praise the Lord Jesus that these bodies will die yet our spirits will be renewed every day and that these perceived iniquities won't last for as long as we think. We will NOT be destroyed! Heaven awaits for those who believe in Jesus as Lord.

Lord, may I continue - somehow - to keep my eyes aligned with Yours.

Monday, October 11, 2010


Here is a peek into what my mind looks like lately:

1. I wish I had enough money to solve everyone's dilemma's. I'm such a giver, and I have to constantly remind myself of my own personal goals/needs - and feel guilty about it sometimes. One of my goals is to have my car paid off by December 31, 2010, and the second, having my student loan paid off by April 30, 2010. Dave Ramsey is the bomb! (If only I could stick to the plan consistently!)

2. I need a dress for a Gala in Hollywood on Sunday, but again, the money issue comes up. I need a dress, but don't want to have to pay for it. And, I don't want to show up in the same dress I wore last year. Total fashion faux paux.

3. With 10/10/10 happening this past Sunday, it made me want to reflect on where I want to be in 10 years. I didn't get very far with that thought other than making the decision to want to reflect. I guess I'll reflect later.

4. I'm continuing to struggle with sleeping too much. I simply can't seem to get enough sleep! Not even twelve hours is enough. I could fall asleep within 60 seconds at any time during the day and literally be dead asleep for 2 - 4 hours... easily. It's literally what I do all weekend, and that's sad. I'm seeing another specialist this week to see if I can get some kind of diagnosis so I can stay awake!

5. Pet peeve: It honestly confuses me why people don't have the same understanding, desire, and passion as I do to get wheelchairs to people in developing countries. Believe me, I've heard all the excuses why someone can't afford $59.20 to help give dignity, life, and a future to someone who is otherwise left to live their life in the dirt, on the ground, and among trash. Seriously?? It's not like I'm asking for $1000 for one wheelchair! ONE WHEELCHAIR is $59.20, and that includes manufacturing, shipping, and delivery to the recipient who gets it for FREE! Why don't people understand the importance of giving back? Are we really that callous to those in need? Sorry, but needing to upgrade your 2010 Mercedes to a 2011 is not a need.

6. I am unbelievably surprised, thankful, humbled, and blessed that God has brought back a friendship with Jennifer that I honestly never thought would come back. God has given me the desire to know and try to understand her perspective, and my heart mourns with sorrow for what she has gone through but bursts with joy that our friendship is (in my opinion) probably 75% back to where it used to be. Thank you, Jesus, for restoration. All in Your time.

7. I really love where I live. I especially love the serenity of where I am and the peacefulness at night. Though overwhelming at first by downsizing to a smaller place, I actually am happier here. I realize that I don't need more "stuff." I actually don't shop or buy things like I used to (not that I was that much of a shopper to begin with), but honestly, if you were to look at my bank statements, you'd see "Rent," "Gas," "Grocery store," the occasional "Fast Food," and then of course my "Car Loan" and "Student Loan." That's it. So far, I'm very happy with my decision to move here, and my landlord is really great, too. Other than the occasional idiosyncrasies like the lights going on and off without me touching them or the fan turning off without me pushing "off", it's all good. I love my little abode!

8. Yes, I believe in ghosts.

9. My heart still mourns intensely for my dear friend, Rachel Beiber, who I wrote about in a post a few months ago. Words can't express the level of pain that one experiences when losing their best friend, lover, and husband. Though I do not know that type of exact pain, I do understand the pain of losing something that will not ever come back from my car accident - paralysis. The pain that I experienced was deep, so I can only imagine the depth of Rachel's pain. It leaves me speechless, yet I will never forget.

10. I wish my constant migraine and tension/stress headaches would go away. Hopefully seeing this specialist regarding my sleep will help with that as well.

11. I need to stretch more and am considering looking more into yoga and/or pilates. And lately, I've been consumed with thinking about pregnancy. NO, I AM NOT PREGNANT! Just preparing myself for the reality of what to expect due to my disability.

12. I want to do a 5K, and after that, a Half Marathon. However, I'm not sure where to start, how to train, or what races are available in my area. And, I'd like to train with someone if possible.

13. I wish I could be on "Dancing with the Stars." I think it would be an amazing workout, and extraordinarily fun! I could do it, and love dancing (and also miss it)!!!

14. Some people drive me nuts, especially those on Facebook who constantly take pictures of random stupid things that no one else cares about. Like taking pictures of a new bracelet that you bought and think is fabulous, and you have ten pictures of you wearing the bracelet - even a picture in the bathroom! What else drives me nuts is people who take pictures of themselves while trying to act or look sexy. C'mon people. The world doesn't care. At least I don't.

15. I'm tired of people protesting things that they know nothing about and have not done their research on. Primarily speaking about stem cells. Know your facts. Do the research. And THEN if you disagree, fine. But don't be spouting off stuff you honestly know nothing about, nor have a need to honestly disagree with unless you're in a situation where you would need the use of stem cells.

16. Finally, I'm simply thrilled that I can finally announce (since she's already gone public), that my best friend, Gini Young, is pregnant with her third child!!! I'm so, so excited for her and her family. I can't wait to meet the new little one! And, I really hope I can be there for the birth of this one!